The Power of that little Voice
Little Mike kneels down to tie his shoe laces. And as he raises his head and starts what seems to be the long walk to take position to bat, his mind starts a vicious attack on his self-esteem “You can’t do it…. Remember how you struck out last time”. As his anxiety starts to escalate every part of him wants to just give up and cry. Then, all of a sudden he hears the familiar sound of his dad on the sidelines cheering “Mikeee… You can do it! You can do it”!!! Then all of a sudden, a surge of adrenalin seeps through his veins as his eyes zero in on the ball approaching. And with supernatural strength he never knew he had-his dad’s words turn into energy – and he hits that ball so far out-he’s astonished. It’s a home run! He’s elated as he reflects on his dad’s words “Mikee… you can do it. This is a great example of how simple words of faith – to a child – can be life changing.
There are many little Mike’s and there are many stories that could be told of the person that believed in us. It’s powerful when people believe in us.
What does it mean to believe in your child?
Those formative years are so critical in helping a child define his or her worth. They know nothing outside of what they experience from mom, dad and those around him. If you were to tell a child he was superman on a lonely island, he just might believe he was- if no one else was there to cause him to question it. Unfortunately, in this life…. …there will be many naysayers.
Am I valued? Am I capable? By the age of 3, your child has already endowed himself with labels like “I am boy or girl. I’m short or skinny. I’m good or bad. As scary as that is, those labels increase with age and with more experiences with the world. Your child will believe “You “or the world- which ever voice is louder. If you are bent on helping your child believe in the goodness within them, your voice must indeed be louder.
Believing in your child means many things including;
- providing the best atmosphere for your child to thrive,
- expecting the best of your child,
- Challenging your child to his full potential
- Not believing the counterproductive behaviours that manifest more often than not
- Speaking into your child his inherent goodness whether they believe it or not
- Giving your child choice
- Not projecting your own insecurities upon your child
“Believing is a big word-and it would be an injustice to reduce it to a simple practice. Believing is an experience that leaves a child feeling confident in who he is and what he can do in spite of his challenges, handicaps, shortcomings, and genetics.
Believing in a child-promotes the idea –that each child inherently has within them- all the gifts and talents to accomplish what they were born to do. They just might need some help accessing it .. that’s all .
What are some stumbling blocks to believing in your child?
Research reveals that certain conditions make it difficult for children to believe in their abilities and their inherent worth. Among those conditions include when a child grows up impoverished, witnesses’ domestic violence or is a victim of harsh parenting. These circumstances ultimately affect the child’s belief systems and ultimately their emotional and psychological development.
- Instead of hearing “Mike.. You can do it; a child who grows up with a harsh parent might instead hear “Why don’t you ever get it right!!.”.
- A child growing up witnessing domestic abuse might see one parent- being beaten and devalued – and ultimately that message of worthlessness is stronger than other message he or she ever hears.
- A child growing up impoverished might believe that as a result of not being able to afford even the most basic of things – that he is of no value–and once again that message is louder than any other message they hear along their journey in life.
It’s definitely complicated and often times, we may not have a say in the destiny we are given. However, any opportunity given to us to impart faith to our children – that they are valuable, they are capable – and they are loved – should not passed aside. We must preserve our child’s healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is a core ingredient in resilience so when it is diminished, so is the belief that they can adapt well to future challenges and difficulties.
What can we do to demonstrate we believe in our child?
- Believe your child has strengths in the first place.
- ”Focus “on their strength- and not their weakness.
- Be a positive role Model –Trying your best in the face of adversity and staying optimistic.
- Demonstrate a genuine interest in your child and the things they love to do
- Acknowledge their emotions –when they don’t have words and help them to express their feelings towards the highs and lows of life.
- Give meaningful and well-timed praises- but don’t overdo it and be specific
- Be compassionate when they need it
- Teach your child about positive Self talk- in regards accomplishments, appearance or skills
- Provide a safe home for your child
It is one of the corner stones of Positive Kids to believe in Children- to believe in what they can do-and to believe they are valuable. If you have a child that struggles with low self-esteem, low confidence or low self-worth, we can help.
GET TO KNOW MORE
Positive Kids offer groups and classes for kids struggling with low self esteem, low confidence, low self worth. For more information, contact us at 866-503-7454.